In all the preparations for the jollities of Christmas, a chap can get a little lost in the vexed question of what cadeaux should be sought for the Lady in his life. The Chaps here at Savvy Towers realise that the Lady in question could be the redoubtable lady wife, the paramour fiancée or someone on whom a Chap is simply rather smitten. We offer here a guide to buying gifts for the perplexed Chap.
There is nothing like dry, toasty champagne to brighten a Lady’s countenance. We would recommend a certain nonchalance when presenting the fizz to your object of desire, possibly intimating at the sophistication involved in a Chap’s daily life. Try something reasonably priced (Piper Heidseck Monopole for instance) as one would hate to be bracketed with the more louche members of the pop star fraternity. Don’t try too hard, Chaps, as this smacks of immodesty and nothing is less attractive to one’s beloved.
A Chap should always smell splendid and we know that a Chap will have found his own cologne but choosing for a Lady is always tricky. One could always ask, of course, but that may ruin the surprise a little. We would suggest that the tried and tested classics will be well received. Chanel No 5 is elegant and will suit most ages and inclinations, Penhaligons’ Bluebell is a cult classic without being too floral and for the more adventurous femme, Miller Harris is British, chic and splendidly original. Should a Chap be fortunate to have a younger mistress, we would suggest Poison but not to stand too close once applied.
A Sports Car
If a Chap has had a good year, one could curry favour by indulging the Lady in a sports car. One which a Chap can borrow on regular occasions, naturally. We would suggest a vintage, nippy little number such as a MG, Morgan or perhaps, as Eartha Kitt urged ‘Santa Baby’, a 54 Convertible. The Chaps here at Savvy Towers would recommend something easy for the Lady to park, though. Indeed, if a vintage model is chosen, parking sensors can be easily retrofitted.
To avoid a Father Ted style shopping faux pas, a Chap may turn to the internet to purchase some lovely Lingerie for a Lady. We would eschew the more stout offers from the High Street in favour of something a little more luxurious. We are very taken with Agent Provocateur which divides its buying guide into the ‘The Beginner, The Adventurer, The Sentimentalist’ to make a Chap’s life easier. We are also keen on Coco de Mer, which is for the, ahem, bolder choices in lingerie. If unsure of a ladies’ size, either sneak a peek into the lingerie drawer or buy smaller than you guess and never, ever, bigger….
A Lady likes to flex her intellectual muscles and a Chap may wish to add to his Lady’s library. A Chap can encourage his Lady to even greater heights of domestic bliss by buying her the classic guide to running a household, Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management, giving the right way to manage one’s domestic help, pluck a grouse and menus for formal entertaining. If your Lady lives in her own flat or house, try Marjorie Wallis’ Live Alone and Like It. Written in 1936, it offers marvellous advice to living it up and which bed jacket to choose when one’s chap comes to visit.
A Chap should not be seduced by advertising of cheap chocolate; a Lady does not appreciate Milk Tray (acceptable only to be given to unwelcome guests). Chocolates should come in a reassuringly subtle box (with ribbons) with a grown up choice of flavours. We would highly recommend the purchase of salted caramels, which, when the good lady is not watching, will taste delicious with a swig of your favoured single malt...
A kiss on the lips is quite continental, but diamonds are a girl’s best friend? A Chap can make a very grand gesture indeed and if one is buying diamonds, one may suggest pushing the boat out at Bulgari or Tiffany. Avoid a ring unless a Chap wishes to complicate his life, a Savvy Chap would suggest an exquisite bracelet or pendant as a less fraught gift. If a Chap is not feeling quite that flush, a gift of a single, exquisite pearl gives the same romanticism but without the need to sell one’s internal organs.
Shhh, the Erotic Review
Given the appalling prose and paucity of wit in Fifty Shades of Grey, a Chap could appeal to a Lady’s more subtle instincts with a subscription to the Erotic Review. One’s brain is invigorated and teased and a Chap may find that long winter’s evening may be warmer than usual. Golly.
Ladies love to lounge around ‘spa’ establishments in white towelling being massaged and such like. A gift of such a day for the Lady will have many benefits for a Chap: a relaxed and benevolent Lady who smells marvellous and a whole day when a Chap can have some peace and quiet. There are many to choose from but a Savvy Chap understands that a Lady will expect ‘treatments’, lunch and a glass of the laughing juice as a minimum…
A Chap could decide to take a Lady away for a modest holiday as a spiffing gift. Bridget Jones regarded this as proof of a Chap’s true intention, and who are we to argue? The Chaps would suggest somewhere romantic would seem to be the point of the exercise, so perhaps tickets to the New Year’s Eve concert in Vienna, a winter trip to New York or catching a bit of sun in Marrakesh? The classic country house hotel is a little passé, Chaps, so make a bold, imaginative gesture. Bon voyage!