Even the most refined chap's well-being can, apparently, be enhanced with a course of physical fitness training. However, since the demise of National Service (stand by your beds!), finding suitable opportunities can be a little challenging. Not wanting to expose any of our dear friends to the unseemly swathes of sweaty lycra at the local 'cardiovascular battery farm', we are instead rather taken by the 'Tweed Run' annual bicycle ride through Central London.
Established in 2009 'The Run' has become so popular that tickets to ride can now only be secured by success in a lottery draw. Personally, I'd put everything on 'Red 7', but more efficient progress can probably be made by applying online. That done, successful ticket holders will want to ensure that they present themselves in peak condition for the event:
Tweed hacking jacket. We suggest flared skirt and slanted pockets for optimum aerodynamic flow.
Doeskin waistcoat to keep out any Spring chill.
A good stout pair of breeches, (suitably lined, as there really is nothing at all funny about chafing!).
Long cashmere socks, for warmth without weight.
Tweed flat cap for a gentleman's idea of crash protection. (Note: we rather believe that health and safety is the responsibility of the individual, not the state).
Polished brogues with 'slick' leather soles for maximum track speed.
Optional accessories; pocket square (to mop one's brow), cravat, monocle.
Fail to prepare, prepare to fail! Therefore practice doffing your tweed cap to female passers-by now, to avoid any embarrassing clumsiness on the day.
Hurtling through the city streets at breakneck speeds, sometimes in excess of 5mph, can expose one to all sorts of airborne debris. Avoid swallowing flies by growing a luxuriant handlebar moustache to trap troublesome tabanids. Keep a pot of moustache wax handy for post-run recovery.
Hydration is dreadfully important, as any athlete knows, so an entrant who lines up without at least one hip flask is likely to get a stiff telling off from the organisers. Water is essential, after all you wouldn't want to go without a few drops in a single malt.
Enjoy the day, chaps!